Spirituality has been my compass while I learned how to get back into the driver’s seat of my own life. I have always recognized in myself that I am a deep thinker and feeler, but it felt like a curse for a long time. I learned to dim my light within, not listen to my sense of self, and this caused me to sway away from my core values and beliefs. Through hardships, I found myself extremely distanced from my mind body, and soul.

I am a “grinch.” Originally, that was a title given to me by people around me. Specifically when I worked at an early childhood program and had small children of my own. I do not enjoy the holidays. There were many years that we didn’t put up a Christmas tree and when my co-workers heard me say that, they acted as if I was severely neglecting my children. We aren’t a religious family so we really only celebrated Christmas as a secular holiday. I enjoyed Christmas Day as a kid. It was predictable. Christmas Eve was different. We spent Christmas eve with my dad’s family and Christmas Day with my mom’s family. My grandpa on my mom’s side loved decorating for the holidays and genuinely enjoyed Christmas so it was fun to be there. Celebrations with my dad’s extended family were always focused around alcohol and were not enjoyable. Inevitably, some family members would have a disagreement that resulted in loud arguments which were scary as a young child but I got to spend time with my great grandma who I adored so I could sometimes block out the other stuff. When my great grandma moved into a nursing home, those larger family gatherings ended and we would visit her on holidays. It was easy to leave when more people showed up because there simply wasn’t enough space in her room for several people.

Ah, the Holidays. A season that is meant to bring connection, gratitude, love, hope, and joy. But for many, the holiday season can be extremely painful or difficult for a variety of reasons. I am not a religious person, so the spirit of Christmas for me may be different than many people. Christmas is a celebration, a time for giving and not simply a day we exchange gifts. The spirit of Christmas is in the “togetherness”, it’s in the thought to which you put into thinking about others, it’s a selfless time, where we forgive, take stock of what’s important and become better versions of ourselves. I love the beauty of Christmas. We begin to decorate the first weekend after Halloween, so we can celebrate the season a little longer. My oldest daughter even has the middle name December, because being pregnant with her reminded me of the joy and love that I feel during that month. We love Christmas music and driving around to look at lights. And we also love being able to give the people we love thoughtful gifts.

In honor of National Special Education Day on December 2nd, I am sharing my personal story in the hopes of dispelling stereotypes of what Special Education services means for students now and for their future.  Growing up, and even 18 years ago when my daughter started receiving special education services, I would hear terms like “short bus” or “sped kids” which referred to students who received special education services or had an Individualized Education Plan (IEP).  Though I don’t hear these terms as much today, I know they still exist and the negative attitude towards these students still exists.

This story is very close to my heart. Anna is my sister. I have seen her struggle since her teenage years. At the heart of her struggles, and only discovered in recent years, is her diagnosis of several mental health challenges. She was also adopted from South Africa as a toddler and has struggled with feelings of abandonment and attachment her whole life. Anna has fought family and friends in search of what would make her feel better, feel more. It has challenged our family as she has lost battles in the past.

I gave birth to 2 preemies; my second preemie Quinn, now 17-years old, was born at 28 weeks gestation (or 2 months early!), weighing 2 pounds, 10.7 ounces. For unknown reasons, I went into preterm labor which couldn’t be stopped, and was sent into an emergency C-section due to a prolapsed umbilical cord. Quinn was intubated immediately, but after only a day, was breathing on his own.  However, at one week old, and only weighing 3 pounds, he underwent surgery, one very common to premature infants called patent ductus arteriosus (PDA) ligation. This duct in their heart closes in full term infants, but often stays open in preemies.

As I typically do when writing on a topic, I looked for definitions and synonyms to make sure that my readers and I are on the same page. Gratitude is “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”. I like those words: thankful, appreciation, kindness. I think it is easy to say thank you, but more powerful to show appreciation and kindness. It is similar to how saying sorry is just a word, but an apology says why and how you will make it better. It carries more weight.

Sensory Processing Disorders (SPD) are a complex and often misunderstood set of conditions that affect how individuals perceive and respond to sensory stimuli from their environment. These disorders can have a profound impact on a person’s daily life, from their ability to interact with others to their emotional well-being. While much progress has been made in understanding SPD in recent years, there is still much to learn about its causes, symptoms, and treatment options.