Written by ChatGPT. Edited and enhanced by Beth Ayers, Peer Support Training CoordinatorMay 6, 2025Children’s Mental Health Week: Supporting Young Minds for a Healthier FutureEach year, Children’s Mental Health Week serves as a vital reminder of the importance of nurturing the emotional well-being of children and young people. Children’s Mental Health Week shines a spotlight…
Read more
March is daylight savings time when we turn our clocks ahead and gain an extra hour of daylight in the evenings. People look forward to this day all winter. But for some this change can be hard. Turning our clocks ahead means getting up in the dark. It takes our bodies time to adjust to losing an hour of sleep and getting up an hour earlier. Daylight savings time has caused me to think about change in general and how there are always upsides and downsides to change.
As parents or caregivers of children with special healthcare needs, including behavioral health, we deal with stress on a daily basis. Studies consistently show that stress is higher for parents of children with disabilities (Gerstein, 2009). The demands of caregiving can be overwhelming, leading to chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of isolation. Parents of children with special needs often experience higher levels of anxiety and depression, as they navigate medical, educational, and social challenges on a daily basis (Scherer, Verhey, & Kuper, 2019).
On Friday, January 17, the House of Representatives voted to pass HB76 creating Family Peer Support certification. Now on to the Senate! House Bills will get passed to the Senate on March 4. As we wait, this is a great time to email or meet with Senators to share what Family Peer Support is, how valuable it is/was for you and/or the families you work with, and why certification is important to the development of the workforce. You can find a list of Senators and their contact information on legmt.gov. HB76 will most likely be heard by the Senate Public Health, Welfare & Safety committee.
January 3rd was JRR Tolkien’s birthday. He wrote many books but the ones that I am the most familiar with are The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Although Tolkien died before I was born, I knew his name by Kindergarten. My father began reading The Hobbit to me at night before bed when I was 5. He went on to read me The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. The main character in the Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, went on a great adventure with a group of dwarves and a wizard to fight a dragon and came across a magic ring that made him disappear. Tolkien’s characters were always finding themselves in trouble, whether it was with trolls or spiders or other enemies. My favorite part is when they escape in wine barrels and tossed into the river to float downstream to a nearby town. My dad actually read all the books twice to me over many years. He loved the books and knew every character and even sang the songs that were written throughout. Since it took us so long to read through each book and then begin again, I couldn’t tell if he knew the tune of the songs or made them up, creating different versions each time he sang them. I loved the stories too, but mostly I loved spending time with my dad.
Family Peer Support is a trained parent or caregiver with lived experience raising a child with special healthcare needs and/or behavioral health challenges providing support to another parent or caregiver who is currently raising a child with similar healthcare needs. Family Peer Supporters provide emotional support, resources, and connection to community, helping the parent or caregiver feel less isolated, less stressed, and more hopeful. A Family Peer Supporter, because of their lived experience, can connect to another parent or caregiver in a way that few others can. The Family Peer Supporter knows what it feels like to raise a child with special healthcare needs and/or behavioral health challenges. The Family Peer Supporter knows the challenges that parents and caregivers face. They can relate to the often-overwhelming feelings of shame, blame, fear, and loss parents and caregivers experience. The Family Peer Supporter has navigated the confusing health system and has juggled multiple therapies, school meetings, doctor appointments, and other family commitments along with the needs of themselves, their child, and their family. Lived experience is the foundation of Family Peer Support. Lived experience is what makes Family Peer Support a unique service.
by Beth Ayers, Family Support LeadNovember 5, 2024November is National Family Caregiver Month. On Caregiver Action Network’s website, they share the importance of recognizing caregivers. Celebrating Family Caregivers during National Family Caregivers Month enables all of us to:Raise awareness of family caregiver issuesCelebrate the efforts of family caregiversEducate family caregivers about self-identificationIncrease support for family…
Read more
Mental health has long been an overlooked aspect of overall health. However, with growing awareness, advocacy, and research, the conversation around mental health is evolving. One of the major milestones in this ongoing movement is World Mental Health Day, observed annually on October 10th. This day serves as a platform for advocacy, awareness, and mobilization efforts to promote mental health and to provide mental health support.
The word “recovery” is usually associated with addiction, sobriety, AA, substance use disorder, treatment, or abstinence. In healthcare, we associate “recovery” with healing after surgery, illness, or injury. In the recovery world, “recovery” from mental health disorders can look like managing symptoms, absence of hospital stays, improvement in mental health, or increased ability to function in day-to-day life.
The word boundaries can bring to mind a variety of images and feelings. Boundaries can have a negative connotation or conjure feelings of safety. Boundaries can be a hard concept for many. Often, setting boundaries feels uncaring. I personally have a love/hate relationship with boundaries. I find the concept confusing when trying to apply it to my life and relationships. Setting boundaries can cause conflict with others whose boundaries are different. Essentially, boundaries protect the important things in life. In order to set effective boundaries, you have to know your priorities. And to know your priorities, you first have to know your values.
I did not expect to be raising a child with a disability. In fact, I’m pretty sure no parent does. When I dreamed of having children, I imagined them healthy and living life like their peers. Sure, there was bound to be misbehavior and bumps along the way, but not a disability. Certainly not one that would shatter my hopes and dreams and force me to change my expectations. Adapting to being a parent or caregiver of a child with a disability can be hard.
My child was never officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Partly due to their age (under 21) and partly because insurance companies didn’t like that diagnosis. I was told there was a lot of stigma around Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and no treatment for it. Only the symptoms such as anxiety, depression, or impulsivity could be treated with medication. Dialectical Behavior Therapy was effective but not a “guaranteed fix” which is what insurances like to cover. Some doctors who saw BPD on a patient’s chart automatically assumed there was no hope for that patient. I appreciated the protection the doctors and therapists were trying to give our child, the chance to have hope and unbiased treatment. But I hated playing the insurance game and hiding because of stigma. My thought was, “If they have BPD, list it as a diagnosis.” If our child had a rare form of cancer, doctors wouldn’t think twice about putting it in their chart. Stigma does not get changed by hiding from it. It gets changed by being open and honest and authentic.
by Beth Ayers, Family Support LeadMay 21, 2024“I have been where you are.” “I understand.” “It’s not your fault.” “It’s okay to ask questions.” “You have rights.”“You are an important part of the process.”“You are doing the best you can.”“Here is what helped me.”“You are not alone.”“There is hope.”As a parent raising a child with…
Read more
In the complex landscape of mental health, resilience stands out as a beacon of hope and strength. For children dealing with mental health challenges, cultivating resilience is key. Resilience equips children with the ability to navigate adversity, bounce back from setbacks, and thrive despite life’s inevitable challenges. As a mom of two fabulous children with mental health challenges, I often feel unequipped to help them navigate these challenges. If I had a magic wand and could, “poof,” free them from their mental health struggles, I would. I would give anything to take away their pain and my hurt that comes from watching my kids go through that pain. The following are tangible skills our kids can learn to increase resilience. Resilience in turn fosters their capacity for emotional well-being and success.
Recovery or resiliency stories are powerful and important. They do a few things: 1. Connect us to the peers we are working with, 2. Give value to the unique perspective our lived experience brings to the table, 3. Show the importance and effectiveness of peer support. According to Montana’s Peer Network’s Peer Support Training, our recovery or resiliency story is “at the heart of the work we do in peer support. It is important that, as peer supporters, we understand our own process of recovery or resiliency. We need to be comfortable enough to speak about our own journey with others. Being able to describe our experience in a concise and hopeful manner is important. We want to tell our recovery [and resiliency] journey in a way that will inspire or provide a sense of hope to those still struggling.” A recovery or resiliency story “lets those you work with know you really do understand how difficult it can be. And how to overcome challenges. This is your greatest strength as a peer supporter.” Whether we are Behavioral Health Peer Supporters or Family Peer Supporters, it is important to share our story with a peer as it relates to them. They are the focus. Sharing our story is a useful tool to build connection and engage with your peer.
Maintaining friendships while raising children with mental health challenges has been hard for me. I have narrowed down my list of “friends,” keeping those who could support me without judgement through extremely challenging times. I have also come to appreciate friends who are willing to say the hard things out of love that I need to hear. I deeply appreciate others who share in my lived experience and just “get it.” My own comparison and self-pity have caused me to keep some friends at a distance. The stigma associated with mental illness kept me silent about what my family was going through. And the stress of caring for my child, seeking out services, attending multiple appointments weekly, and emotional exhaustion left me little time to devote to my friendships.
My husband and I had been married for 9 years when mental health began to serious affect our child’s health and our family’s life. Parenting in general can cause tension between couples. Being on the same page as each other, having similar parenting styles and values, agreeing on consequences, communicating effectively, and supporting each other are all things I have found important in raising children with my husband. And all things I have had to learn and work on. Every family has their struggles and goes through ups and downs. Through trying times, I was able to turn to my parents, friends, and other moms for support. When my difficulty became more than common parenting challenges but parenting a child with behavioral health needs, those relationships shifted and the way I needed to be supported changed. My husband and I had been going to marriage counseling. I had been attending Al-Anon meetings. I had made friends with other moms with kids in the same grade as mine. I was part of a church community and Sunday school class. My loving and supportive parents lived close by.
When I began this article, I was going to write about involuntary commitment, in particular for young adult children by their parents. But after spending hours writing and talking to others, I was more confused than when I started. I was left with more questions than answers. And maybe that’s how it should be. Maybe we should wrestle with it. Maybe there is no right or wrong stance but many answers that depend on numerous variables.
I am a mom of two, now adult, children with behavioral health challenges and I work as a Family Peer Supporter helping other parents currently raising children with special healthcare needs including behavioral health. As a Family Peer Supporter, I get to walk beside families and help lift their burden by listening and connecting through a shared lived experience. Parenting is stressful in and of itself. It’s a full-time job with no training manual. Parents don’t clock in and clock out. They don’t get to call in sick. And a literal life depends on how well you do! Like most moms, I envisioned the future for my children including friends, activities, school, summer camp, growing up, high school dances, graduation, college, marriage, children of their own, and so on.
Family Peer Support Advocacy Opportunity
It is time to let your voice be heard! There are 2 opportunities in January to give public comment advocating for Family Peer Support.
The MT Family Peer Support Task Force & Steering Committee worked tirelessly last year to develop professional standards for Family Peer Supporters. Unlike other states, Family Peer Supporters in MT work with parents/caregivers of children with ANY special healthcare need, including behavioral health. Attached is an overview of the professional standards that will be recommended for Family Peer Supporters in MT. Now it is time to focus our efforts on certification and funding. There is an advocacy opportunity on January 18, 2024.