by Nikki Russell, Recovery Coach
December 12, 2023
Spiritual Intelligence (SQ) is discovering the aspects of us that inspire creativity, healing, and purpose. Another name for this is intuition, which lives on our brain's right side. The intelligence Quotient (IQ), the left side of the brain, measures what we accumulate outside of ourselves; learning happens through reading books, listening to speeches, researching, and observing others. We analyze and compare data intellectually and incorporate it into life. Learning starts early in life, like learning to walk and speak, and evolves into helping us understand, perceive, and assess the world around us. It is critical for survival; it helps us meet mental, emotional, and social demands. Learning does not play favorites; it does not self-correct. The school of hard knocks teaches different lessons and incorporates skills that protect a person from danger. For example, due to the trauma I was experiencing at home as a child, it was much more important to maintain a sense of safety versus learning math, my left brain told me. Confidence was a mask I wore to protect secrets, in comparison to an organic experience that prepared me for harnessing a successful career path. This type of learning came from my family's modeled behavior, and it assured me that I would stay in the same social class, mental health, and emotional crisis. The trauma wound became my best teacher, guiding my footsteps, warning me of happiness, and sabotaging success. Hypervigilance was my game, and I excelled, honing my survival skills. There were no awards or certifications for my efforts, and no adult ever validated my keen eye for perpetrators, my empathic qualities of just knowing when something was wrong, or how I could weave a story to protect a generation of lies.
I had skills that could win battles and pass tests, but none that were credible by society's standards. I worked incredibly hard to fit into the "IQ" world. With a flash of my smile and wielding my sword of manipulation, I could achieve anything this life had to offer. Worldly success was at my fingertips; you guessed it, a cigarette, a beer, and a pill were all I needed to convince myself I was just like you. They did not fall for it, but I did, hard. To the bottom, I went down every bottle, relationship, and lie. Getting to the bottom of a lie is hard to hit; it meant I could no longer count on my education to get me through consistent internal trauma; I would need to go deeper. It was a crushing blow to realize the safety measures taken were a false security blanket meant to keep me trapped in a cozy feedback loop. My five senses of touch, taste, smell, hearing, and sight were a part of the protection process; my thought patterns and emotions justified the concrete world I saw, further constructing and solidifying an identity. I was imprisoned in my education, a storm of thought patterns that pulled from my past and projected into the future, staining potentially beautiful life experiences. Triggered emotions reinforced the thoughts that created a fear in me so intense that all I could do was adjust the mask and hope that the distant light of my authentic self would twinkle just enough to conjure images of happiness in you so you would not judge me.
I heard it! Deep inside me, I heard it! Is my intuition speaking to me? It felt so hollow inside my body and brain the voice echoed. It felt like the truth; it was soft and kind but seemed wild. Was I losing my God-forsaken mind once and for all? The unknown of that experience felt like home, but no home I have ever known. The message that came through that day felt like Deja Vue, and I knew that I was right where I was supposed to be. Hope came in the middle of my messy mind, broken heart, and tragic life; it held me so tight and then released me back into the world to rebuild my life. A deeper level of safety existed, but with the old thought patterns giving me feedback, it would take another year for me to walk into a life of recovery. A new education was in order, and I became a seeker of truth.
Mining for my authentic self-involved practices would quiet the recycled thought patterns that imposed a life of protection. I needed to be able to not only hear my intuition but discern between thought and wisdom. It has been a non-linear path of learning new skills; I began listening, writing down thoughts, and questioning what motivated me versus the results I was getting. Doing the work to unlearn old patterns and behaviors was actively passive. It was a destructive internal process that involved learning to meditate, journaling, reading loads of books, and a forgiveness process. I permitted myself to become the spiritual-girl I have always been. The willingness to trust that my intuition will guide me toward true happiness that might not look like what the world defines as success took radical action. So much of my suffering during this timeframe was the old identity I was losing; even though it imprisoned me, it also protected me. I lost that old identity to have something better. Spirituality is a way of life offering a radical intelligence accessible to everyone. It takes a process, acceptance of where we currently are on our life journey, and a desire for change. With the balance of the left and the right brain, we cannot rely only on IQ as a means of living; we are only relying on the information in our environment. The right brain offers creativity with life and new possibilities; it allows spirituality to flow in. Spending time in the realm of the impossible is where dreams are cultivated; connecting SQ with IQ will enable an inner genius to take form and deliver a life beyond your imagination.