by Lea Wetzel, Family Peer Supporter
February 27, 2024
Growing up in a family of overachievers and natural-born leaders, allowed me to see what positive leadership can look like. Watching my grandpa Blackie Wetzel be such a humble person, set the tone for my dad and his siblings, to also be some amazing individuals too.
It wasn’t until I owned my own business at the young age of 19, that I realized that I too had some natural skills that gave me an edge over the competition.
Later in my addiction, I would use those same gifts for manipulation and tactics to get what I wanted to feed the addict ways in me.
It wasn’t that long after when I had some humbling experiences happen, that made me want to take a break from life. During that time, I got my second Blackfoot name Poonoakki, Elk Woman, and heard the stories and purpose behind my name.
I wouldn’t put that same spiritual transfer into action until I was ready to live in recovery. I learned through my kids getting their names that leadership has vines that go way back on both sides of my family. My family was one of the first business owners in the area where I live presently. Through my son’s Blackfoot name which translates to “Many Successes,” there were stories about the entrepreneurship that my mom's family comes from and is. Even going back as far as “The Heavy Runner Massacre,” there were heroes who led some great people into some historical circumstances.
Those gifts that I was born with, started to grow with the knowledge I was grasping. Within my workforce of peer support, consulting, speaking, and technical assistance I was starting to see the leadership and gifts that others had seen in me. I started believing in myself. My outside matched my inside fully.
I was asked to speak at a legislative session back in 2021 when I saw how leadership can drive advocacy, not just for what I felt and wanted to happen, but also for the good of others.
I have had some great mentors along the way that allowed me to see perspectives that I had never seen before. I put into action principles and practices that I truly believed in.
Practices that allow me to even view and change my person-driven ways.
For example, if I want to advocate and drive an initiative, I must first look at both sides of it. What is positive and what is negative? Also, is it drive because it’s about me, or is it drive that is about something that can benefit and is what’s best for more than just me?
Can it help “Big Picture” perspectives, and what can it all support? Is it just for the good of who I want it to help, or is it something that can progress and support the circle of life overall?
When we have gifts and are shared tidbits of knowledge, do we keep it for ourselves, for the good of us, or do we share it, so it can help others?
If the answer can support more than me and enhance the good of “Big Picture” initiatives, then I must move forward on it, because that is positive and great leadership.
If I get upset with a certain group, or person, is it okay for me to use my leadership to drive others to also not like that group or person? Maybe. If it’s to give awareness to prevent heartache or hurt, then sure, but I need to “Check” my thoughts and ways and remember that I am a person in recovery from co-occurring and I need to get insight always.
I will never be a “Catch all, do all,” because true leadership is “Checking” our intentions at the door. It’s learning to delegate and bring in others who can learn and grow too. If I am scouting for the good of others and to support others so I can look good, is that really leadership?
Feeling good about ourselves for our accomplishments is great! We should feel good about the hard work and dedication we have that drives our pain into passion, but “Tooting our own horn,” isn’t a positive attribute, if you ask me.
My dad was a person who never boasted about the positive things he did or the great initiatives and efforts he developed and was behind. He would never tell us about many achievements. He told my brother and me, “You let others talk you up, never boast about your accomplishments.” To this day, I still hear great things that he did, and many people in our family did because they didn’t talk themselves up.
True leadership is being about what you talk about, and what you say you believe in. Practicing what you preach and being on a forever ongoing growing and learning life. Never hit a level of “Mastery” because you’ll miss out on the true message and lessons in life. You’ll never catch the true knowledge-keepers boasting about themselves or leading people into something self-driven. They do what they can with their leadership to help and support what can help others, the land, water, animals, and all that’s in the Universe. True leaders are open to learning and listening.
When we are supporting others or speaking at a speaking engagement, are we using that platform to feel good about ourselves, or make ourselves look good? Are we doing it for some type of payoff?
It is good to know your worth and be paid for your time, but to utilize a platform to just make us look good, isn’t true leadership in my eyes. People will remember how you made them feel before they remember what you said. So, maybe if we speak and support others in a way where we take ourselves out of the picture and put those we are supporting or speaking to first, our outcomes might be more helpful and impactful.
Next time you are around a person who holds a position in leadership, listen and watch what they are about, and see if you can tell if they are behind something self-centered, or if they do care and want to help others, even when it doesn’t help themselves out.
We are humans, and humans aren’t perfect. Remembering that we are one spirit among a world of so many others can help us realize that life is bigger than just us.
Don’t get me wrong, one person can make a huge impact on the world, but looking at what we are doing and our intentions behind what we do, might help us decide do we want that impact to be about something positive, or, something negative.
I believe when our leadership gains a level where we don’t get something out of it, and we are doing something simply because it’s the right thing to do, we might have a better chance at having a more supportive world. When we can have practices that remind us to “Check” ourselves, we will have a better world, and we can share the skills and gifts we have to support and help others, and the next generation of leaders.