by Andi Daniel, Technology Coordinator
November 25, 2025
As we move into the holiday season, things can become overwhelming. Expectations of fun-filled time with friends and family are everywhere. Commercials, billboards, newspapers, specials of our favorite TV shows. People start asking what your plans are for the holidays. While this is an exciting time of year for many people, for others, it can bring on extra stress and negative emotions. Acknowledging these feelings can go a long way to making the season a little more manageable.
I have often written and talked about my difficult relationship with holidays. I tend to put too much pressure on myself to make things perfect and could never quite get there. Of course, perfect is impossible but whatever little glitch came up felt like a failure to me. I never got the hang of making sure all of the food was ready at the same time the way my grandma always seemed to be able to do. I couldn't always get my kids the gifts they really wanted. Deciding where to spend holidays was challenging. I know that these were all "me" problems. They were my perceptions and expectations. But these expectations are often reinforced by others around us.
Family dynamics can make getting together difficult. For people who have strained relationships with their families, the thought of spending time with them brings up a lot of negative emotions. Our past substance use, trauma, and mental health struggles may come to the forefront when we are in situations that remind us of challenging or unsafe times. It is easy to fall back into old, unhealthy patterns, especially with family members who are unwilling or unable to make positive changes. For people without close family relationships, the holidays may create a different kind of struggle. Loneliness and isolation can be overwhelming when faced with the staggering amount of pressure to be with family this time of year, to just let bygones by bygones and "get over" our issues. Even when we are around other people, we can feel isolated. Social media and end of year update letters can add to these feelings as we see other families enjoying time together or read about their accomplishments. It can be hard to remember that what we see and read are probably not completely accurate representations of others' lives.
There are many blogs, columns, and other articles about how to cope with holiday stresses which I rarely find helpful and I am not going to offer them here. What is helpful to one person won't work for someone else and I am certainly not an expert on coping strategies. My purpose is simply to acknowledge that this time of year can be very difficult for many people. That we all have our unique experiences but often similar emotions and reactions to those experiences. I know, intellectually, that things don't need to be perfect. That people aren't exactly who they appear to be online. That family doesn't have to be people who are related by blood or marriage and that it is okay to set boundaries and protect myself. Knowing those things doesn't change the experience or the emotions attached to the situation in the moment. If you know what works for you, stick with it. If something isn't quite as useful as it used to be, try a different coping strategy.
For me, the answer is to treat the holidays like any other time of the year. They are just days. No pressure, no expectations.
