by Beth Ayers, Family Support LeadNovember 5, 2024November is National Family Caregiver Month. On Caregiver Action Network’s website, they share the importance of recognizing caregivers. Celebrating Family Caregivers during National Family Caregivers Month enables all of us to:Raise awareness of family caregiver issuesCelebrate the efforts of family caregiversEducate family caregivers about self-identificationIncrease support for family…
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As a parent of a nonverbal child with autism, our journey has been a tapestry woven with both challenges and triumphs. One of the most significant threads in this tapestry has been understanding sensory processing disorder (SPD) and its profound impact on my son. SPD is often found in children on the autism spectrum and manifests in various sensitivities and reactions to sensory stimuli. By sharing our experiences, I hope not only to advocate for my son but also to raise awareness and support others who are facing similar challenges.
Today, I invite you to join me on a journey. The map I was given at birth was filled with detours, unexpected stops, fast-paced highways, and scenic routes, accompanied by plenty of bumps and flat tires. Through adaptation and countless obstacles, I navigated a less-traveled road—a highway leading to self-awareness and recovery. I want to pause a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude to each of you here today reading this. I know you have faced your own battles, and your presence signifies that you’ve found hope after being hurt and discovered the courage to keep showing up for yourselves. Thank you for allowing me the space to be vulnerable and share my story.
The word “recovery” is usually associated with addiction, sobriety, AA, substance use disorder, treatment, or abstinence. In healthcare, we associate “recovery” with healing after surgery, illness, or injury. In the recovery world, “recovery” from mental health disorders can look like managing symptoms, absence of hospital stays, improvement in mental health, or increased ability to function in day-to-day life.
Every September, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) leads the nation in celebrating Recovery Month, a time dedicated to promoting awareness and understanding of mental health and substance use disorders, celebrating those in recovery, and highlighting the effective treatments available. Recovery Month has been a vital part of SAMHSA’s efforts to combat the stigma associated with mental health and substance use disorders, and in 2024, the initiative continues with renewed energy and focus on the theme, “Hope, Healing, and Health.”
The word boundaries can bring to mind a variety of images and feelings. Boundaries can have a negative connotation or conjure feelings of safety. Boundaries can be a hard concept for many. Often, setting boundaries feels uncaring. I personally have a love/hate relationship with boundaries. I find the concept confusing when trying to apply it to my life and relationships. Setting boundaries can cause conflict with others whose boundaries are different. Essentially, boundaries protect the important things in life. In order to set effective boundaries, you have to know your priorities. And to know your priorities, you first have to know your values.
About a month ago the US Supreme Court ruled communities can cite and fine homeless individuals for sleeping outside. This ruling empowers city and county commissioners in Montana to implement a ban on sleeping outside such as in a tent, in a park or on the street. The ruling was 6-3 so it was not unanimous. This ruling overturns the 9th Circuit Court which rules over the following states, Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon and Washington. All these states all have high housing prices, a lack of services and tend to lean towards anti homelessness. In Montana we have seen a number of communities such as Kalispell and Lewistown become very vocal when nonprofits have attempted to implement services or temporary shelters for homeless individuals, with a, “Not in my town!” attitude. This of course begs the question. If not in your town, then where? Where exactly should individuals go if they cannot afford housing? This is a complex issue for sure. It seems to me that our leaders lack insight into that complexity. We can’t just move people down the road. The road only leads to another town. Where is issue starts all over again.
Receiving an autism diagnosis for your child can feel overwhelming, but it’s also the beginning of a journey filled with hope, learning, and growth. As a parent, you may experience a whirlwind of emotions, from confusion and fear to relief and determination. Understanding how to navigate this new path will be filled with challenges but will eventually help you to provide the best support for your child and family. Here’s a compassionate guide to help you through this journey.
I did not expect to be raising a child with a disability. In fact, I’m pretty sure no parent does. When I dreamed of having children, I imagined them healthy and living life like their peers. Sure, there was bound to be misbehavior and bumps along the way, but not a disability. Certainly not one that would shatter my hopes and dreams and force me to change my expectations. Adapting to being a parent or caregiver of a child with a disability can be hard.
Healthy relationships play a crucial role in family wellness by fostering a positive environment that supports the well-being of all family members. Mutual respect forms the foundation of healthy relationships within a family, as it cultivates a sense of equality and acceptance among family members. When family members respect each other’s boundaries, opinions, and individuality, it creates a harmonious atmosphere that promotes emotional well-being. Understanding is another key component of healthy relationships in families. When family members make an effort to empathize and communicate effectively, it strengthens their bond and promotes emotional connection. By understanding each other’s perspectives and experiences, family members can navigate challenges and conflicts more effectively, leading to improved overall wellness.
My child was never officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Partly due to their age (under 21) and partly because insurance companies didn’t like that diagnosis. I was told there was a lot of stigma around Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and no treatment for it. Only the symptoms such as anxiety, depression, or impulsivity could be treated with medication. Dialectical Behavior Therapy was effective but not a “guaranteed fix” which is what insurances like to cover. Some doctors who saw BPD on a patient’s chart automatically assumed there was no hope for that patient. I appreciated the protection the doctors and therapists were trying to give our child, the chance to have hope and unbiased treatment. But I hated playing the insurance game and hiding because of stigma. My thought was, “If they have BPD, list it as a diagnosis.” If our child had a rare form of cancer, doctors wouldn’t think twice about putting it in their chart. Stigma does not get changed by hiding from it. It gets changed by being open and honest and authentic.
by Beth Ayers, Family Support LeadMay 21, 2024“I have been where you are.” “I understand.” “It’s not your fault.” “It’s okay to ask questions.” “You have rights.”“You are an important part of the process.”“You are doing the best you can.”“Here is what helped me.”“You are not alone.”“There is hope.”As a parent raising a child with…
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In the complex landscape of mental health, resilience stands out as a beacon of hope and strength. For children dealing with mental health challenges, cultivating resilience is key. Resilience equips children with the ability to navigate adversity, bounce back from setbacks, and thrive despite life’s inevitable challenges. As a mom of two fabulous children with mental health challenges, I often feel unequipped to help them navigate these challenges. If I had a magic wand and could, “poof,” free them from their mental health struggles, I would. I would give anything to take away their pain and my hurt that comes from watching my kids go through that pain. The following are tangible skills our kids can learn to increase resilience. Resilience in turn fosters their capacity for emotional well-being and success.
Forgiveness should be a journey, not a destination. What I mean by that is, whether we need to forgive ourselves, friends/family, or people who have wronged us in our lives, that can be a very difficult task. That physical pain we felt, the emotional toll we went through, and the way our bodies grasped those feelings and held onto them tight, can feel like something you will truly never get over. The old saying goes, “Time heals everything.” Well, it sure doesn’t. The reason I say this is because over time, life keeps throwing us curveballs, or as experts, unlike myself like to call it, trauma. It starts stacking inside of us and piling up like deskwork in our brains. When this happens, we are walking through life with unresolved hurt inside of us, and then turn around and project it onto others. So, the very things that hurt us in the beginning, we are now doing those same things to the ones we love, friends, our children, etc.
Week of the Young Child is a nationally recognized week to celebrate young children and those who care for them. The goal is to raise awareness of the importance of early childhood and the impact the early years have on future development. Montana has many people working on strengthening the early childhood network in our state.
Recovery or resiliency stories are powerful and important. They do a few things: 1. Connect us to the peers we are working with, 2. Give value to the unique perspective our lived experience brings to the table, 3. Show the importance and effectiveness of peer support. According to Montana’s Peer Network’s Peer Support Training, our recovery or resiliency story is “at the heart of the work we do in peer support. It is important that, as peer supporters, we understand our own process of recovery or resiliency. We need to be comfortable enough to speak about our own journey with others. Being able to describe our experience in a concise and hopeful manner is important. We want to tell our recovery [and resiliency] journey in a way that will inspire or provide a sense of hope to those still struggling.” A recovery or resiliency story “lets those you work with know you really do understand how difficult it can be. And how to overcome challenges. This is your greatest strength as a peer supporter.” Whether we are Behavioral Health Peer Supporters or Family Peer Supporters, it is important to share our story with a peer as it relates to them. They are the focus. Sharing our story is a useful tool to build connection and engage with your peer.
As a parent navigating the challenges of raising a teenager in today’s fast-paced world, I have come to appreciate the significance of prioritizing mental health. With World Teen Mental Wellness Day just around the corner on March 2, it is an opportune time to reflect on ways we can actively support our teens’ emotional well-being throughout the year. In a world where one in seven adolescents faces mental health challenges, fostering awareness and reducing stigma becomes paramount, especially given the impact of the global pandemic on our teens’ mental health.
I had a revelation recently and am still unsure how to correct this coping mechanism I acquired on my journey through life. I guess at this point acknowledging and identifying this within myself is currently the stage I am in. So, I thought this would be a good way to reflect through writing and see if any more revelations transpire my growth. “Carpe Diem” is a Latin term meaning “Seize the day”. This can inspire the idea of living in the moment or for today, so we aren’t wasting what little time we have on this earth worrying about what has already happened or what is to come.
Maintaining friendships while raising children with mental health challenges has been hard for me. I have narrowed down my list of “friends,” keeping those who could support me without judgement through extremely challenging times. I have also come to appreciate friends who are willing to say the hard things out of love that I need to hear. I deeply appreciate others who share in my lived experience and just “get it.” My own comparison and self-pity have caused me to keep some friends at a distance. The stigma associated with mental illness kept me silent about what my family was going through. And the stress of caring for my child, seeking out services, attending multiple appointments weekly, and emotional exhaustion left me little time to devote to my friendships.
My husband and I had been married for 9 years when mental health began to serious affect our child’s health and our family’s life. Parenting in general can cause tension between couples. Being on the same page as each other, having similar parenting styles and values, agreeing on consequences, communicating effectively, and supporting each other are all things I have found important in raising children with my husband. And all things I have had to learn and work on. Every family has their struggles and goes through ups and downs. Through trying times, I was able to turn to my parents, friends, and other moms for support. When my difficulty became more than common parenting challenges but parenting a child with behavioral health needs, those relationships shifted and the way I needed to be supported changed. My husband and I had been going to marriage counseling. I had been attending Al-Anon meetings. I had made friends with other moms with kids in the same grade as mine. I was part of a church community and Sunday school class. My loving and supportive parents lived close by.