When I think of radical acceptance, I think of when my only brother passed away. I was in Montana’s Women’s Prison and didn’t have a chance to go to his services. It hurt, and I was sober for the first time since I was a teenager. I was sober, but I wouldn’t say I was in recovery, because I was still living in a way that had many, many character defects.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and as someone who is in recovery from substance use disorder and mental health issues, I am grateful for this opportunity to share my story and help raise awareness about mental health. I live in Billings, Montana, and even here I’ve found that it can be challenging for people in our community to find the resources and support they need to manage these conditions. That’s why I feel it’s essential to talk openly about mental health to help reduce stigma and encourage people to seek help when they need it.
Spirituality is gritty. I spent many years trying to find God, sitting in meditation for hours a day attempting to make her something separate of myself that would give me a golden ticket into heaven. Attempting to be good enough to achieve unlimited access to worth, making up for lost time in meditation and prayer, life could be good if I said the right words and did the right actions.
Recovery allows me to reframe the artwork that is my life. My addiction took that piece of artwork and buried it in the basement of my soul. Through the years, I piled boxes of trauma over the top of it, it gathered dust and lost all its value.
