by Kayla Myers, Family Peer Supporter
December 17, 2024
Dear Fellow Parent,
I know exactly what you're going through right now. It might not always seem like it, but you are doing an incredible job. Sometimes, in the whirlwind of daily life, you are managing school pickups, making sure the meals are ready, keeping track of doctor's appointments, handling tantrums (both big and small), and let's not forget the never-ending laundry. You may forget that what you're doing is nothing short of amazing.
I’ve been there, too. I know what it feels like when you’re so wrapped up in your kids’ needs and schedules that your own gets lost in the shuffle. You might have the constant feeling of being "on," that there’s always something to do for someone else. And I get it, parenting, with all its beautiful chaos, can consume every bit of your time and energy.
But I want to remind you of something important: You are more than just a parent.
I’m saying this but not lightly because I know you play a vital role in your kids’ lives, but to help you remember that in the middle of all this giving, you deserve to take care of yourself too. You are an individual with hopes, dreams, passions, and needs that are just as important as the ones your children have. Being a great parent doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process.
Think about it this way: how can we give our best to our children if we aren't caring for ourselves? You’ve probably heard the analogy of putting on your oxygen mask first before helping others. It’s true. If you’re running on empty, it’s hard to fill anyone else's cup. You deserve moments of rest, joy, and self-care. You deserve to nurture your well-being, even if it means asking for help or carving out time for yourself. It's so easy to slip into the routine of putting your needs last. But taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s self-preservation. It shows your children that it's okay to care for your mental and physical health. It’s demonstrating that balance and self-respect are essential to living a full life. A life that doesn’t just revolve around obligations but also includes joy and fulfillment. You are setting an example for them by showing that taking time for self-care isn’t just acceptable, it’s your lifeline.
Don’t get me wrong, I have rolled my eyes more than once at the thought of trying to practice self-care and at all the very impractical suggestions. But maybe it’s a cup of coffee in peace before the kids wake up. Or a 20-minute walk by yourself. Or even sitting in your car for five minutes after grocery shopping to just breathe. Or one of my favorites, blasting my favorite song in my headphones or in my car and singing at the top of my lungs. Whatever it is, permit yourself to take it. Those moments add up, and before you know it, you’ll start feeling recharged and more present when you are with your family.
And while we’re on the topic, let’s talk about grace. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. If things don’t always go according to plan, if the house isn’t spotless, or if the kids eat cereal for dinner again, don’t beat yourself up. Perfection is overrated. The fact that you’re showing up each day with love and commitment is more than enough. The children you are raising are seeing your effort and love, even on the hardest days.
So, here’s my reminder to you: You matter. Your needs matter. Your physical health, mental health, and emotional well-being, matter. You are a beautiful, strong, and capable person who deserves time and care just as much as anyone else in your home.
Thank you for everything you do. I see you. And I hope you can take a moment today to see yourself, too, for all the wonderful things you are both as a parent and an individual. You are doing great.
From someone who also needs this reminder often,
A Fellow Parent
(Edited and enhanced with ChatGPT)