by Kara Green, Parent
April 8, 2025
The complexities of Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) have profoundly shaped my life and my daughter’s life over the past seven and a half years.
When my daughter was two and a half years old, a childcare provider asked why I was sending so much food with her for lunch. I explained that I noticed she wasn’t eating what I sent, so I thought she might be bored and wanted to give her more variety. At age three, during a playdate at a friend's house, the mom offered my daughter various dinner options. The only thing she would eat was chicken nuggets. Until I said that out loud, I hadn't realized how particular she was.
As a parent, you often hear from others about how picky toddlers can be. When my daughter turned four, we attended her annual well-child appointment. The doctor, slightly condescendingly, showed me on her hand what a healthy plate of food should look like, emphasizing the protein and vegetable ratio. She felt the need to give me this information due to my daughter’s slightly higher BMI. At almost 45 years old, I would have had to live under a rock not to know what a healthy plate should consist of. This doctor was one of three who shamed me for my daughter's BMI rather than asking about her food intake.
When my daughter was four, I started noticing tricky behaviors, such as refusing to put on her socks and other sensory issues. A therapist explained sensory processing disorder to me, and I decided to look into it. At her five-year well-child appointment, I requested a consultation with an occupational therapist, which led to her diagnosis of sensory processing disorder. I also consulted with a complex care doctor; I explained that my daughter needed to be cued for every bite she ate. She wasn’t eating on her own. He suggested writing a letter to her school to ask them to help que her to take bites during lunch.
Over the next year, I continued discussing her feeding issues with a therapist. One day, the therapist handed me information on ARFID. My daughter was six years old by then. It was a relief to have a name for her complex issue, and she was diagnosed with ARFID shortly after. Unfortunately, ARFID is so new to the DSM-5 (2013) and the healthcare industry that there are no suitable proactive protocols in our country.
But that didn’t stop me. I created a great protocol with a good team, including a complex care doctor, dietitian, occupational therapist, and speech therapist who conducts the feeding sessions.
ARFID often presents in individuals with co-occurring diagnoses such as autism spectrum disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, interoception issues, and sensory processing disorder. Not all providers are aware of this disorder, so if you are questioning your child’s food intake, please consider looking at the criteria for diagnosis. I was naively thinking that the schools would help my daughter out of the kindness of their hearts. It doesn’t work that way. I had no idea that it would end up being a bigger struggle. She has attended three schools now and I have had to advocate significantly with all three schools to get them to help her with this situation. Hopefully I am bringing more awareness to ARFID.
This journey has been very challenging for both me and my daughter. I have learned so much about both of us, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. She is the love of my life, and I am so lucky to have such an amazing human in my life.