by Mandy Nunes, Assistant Director
December 27, 2022
Spirituality is something I really struggled with in early recovery. It took me a long time to realize that spirituality was something that I defined for myself, it was a personal journey. I have a lot of religious trauma in my story and though I tried in early recovery to adopt other peoples traditional religious views as my spirituality, that created an internal conflict that I could not deny. Although I felt welcomed by the people in the rooms of 12 step meetings, some of the foundational language triggered feelings of past oppression, shame, and rejection. I realized that I had a deep, spiritual wound that needed healing. It was then that my journey really began.
I spent a lot of time in my therapists office, working through and processing years of various types of traumas. I became able to see some of the events separate from my experiences of them and have compassion for those versions of myself. I worked on changing my thought process. I became open to hearing other peoples spiritual experiences and beliefs without passing judgements their direction or casting shame on my own. I started to explore and embrace practices and belief systems that bring me comfort, peace, healing, compassion, wisdom, passion, growth, accountability, and love. I dont identify with any religion, but acknowledge that these elements can be experienced in most, if not all, religions. I believe in the power of energy, of the mind, and of love. I pray to the universe and sometimes to people who have passed on. I seek guidance from my future self (what would me at my highest potential think, feel, do, say). My spirituality is connected to every other part of me and affects and is affected by every other dimension of my wellness. It also involves connectedness to others and to nature. My spirituality is open-minded. Its ever evolving like my Recovery and my life. Its not something that is complete, nor will it be, its an ongoing journey that will continue for as long as I do.